(no subject)

Tonight, my boyfriend had a really bad headache and I made him pull over. After a few minutes, he passed out in the driver's seat. I don't think I've ever been so scared as I have been in my entire life. I made Shawn call Mack and Ryan who were in the other car to come back and help, because I wasn't sure what to do next. He was breathing and I knew to keep his head up. That was about it, besides rubbing his cheek and calling his name. I dunno if that helped or not, but it was all I could do.

Mark woke up minutes later and kept saying, "I'm fine, I'm fine.", but I knew it wasn't true, your not fine when you just pass out and won't tell me what's really wrong. Mack and Ryan showed up and Mark kept telling everyone that he was alright. Mack said he was willing to drive, but Mark refused and Ryan said that he would follow us closely all the way home.

Mark then dropped me off at home, saying that he would call me tonight at 11:30, when he got home to let me know that he was alright and that he loved me. I just nodded my head and told him I loved him and I wouldn't know what I would do without him.

Mum asked me why I was late and I told her everything. We got into a fight about it her, telling me I should call his mum to let her know what happened, so that he would keep his promise about going to the doctor about his headaches. I finally gave in, knowing that it was probably the right thing to do.

I called his mum seconds later and she hasn't known about the headaches, but told me that Mark has been cutting again. Something that he and I made a promise to stop. Then his mom went on saying that he has never been known to do something like that and she knew that I used to. (Apparently from Mark) I told her I've been clean now for a month. Then she said that he must have gotten the cutting idea from me. I love Mark, BUT HOW DARE SHE SAY SOMETHING ABOUT ME LIKE THAT! SHE DOESN'T KNOW ME! SHE DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME OR THE FUCKING SHIT THAT I HAVE HAD TO GONE THROUGH! It hurt and still does so bad, to the point where I'm wanting to cut again, but I'm not going to, because I'm stronger than that.

Afterwards, she said he must have gotten the headache thing from me too. (WTF!!!) I told her that I had to go, but I just wanted her to know that I was concerned about Mark and I wanted her to know.

Did I do the wrong thing??? :( :(
do it

(no subject)

I don't know what the fuck just happened. I was in the car with my mom, and she was all like 'Bye Honey, have a nice day', then she points at my ankle(where my new cuts are) and says 'and don't do that anymore, you might get an infection.' I didn't know she knew I cut myself in the first place, and then she just acts like it's no big deal to quit, like I'm just doing it to kill time or something. I just said okay and got out of the car, but that made me mad. How did she know in the first place?? Oh god, is she going to tell my dad???? What should I do???

My life is shit

Just here to vent I guess..

I've had a bad past. I got mollested for 2 to 3 years straight by my older brother.
& my boyfriend and I never get along anymore so were constantly fighting. I love him with all my heart.

I've been cutting for a year and a half now. I stopped for six months straight, But now I started back up again. I dont eat anymore, and lost alot of weight. 90 pounds is my weight goal, I'm 5'7 and I'm 17 years old.

Im not anorexic, But my parents think im "Becoming" to be so.

My life is Pretty much complete shit. I dont go to Reg/public high school anymore, I'm in Independent studies, and I lost most of my friends.

Weed is chill.
getting high is chill.

My parents Dont give a fuck I cut. Which I'm Ok with since I dont do it for attention.
The end.

Feel free to add me.
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do it
  • tyger66

(no subject)

I'm updating from a library computer so my dad won't see this on my history. I cut again this morning, and my mom almost caught me. I worry that she'll walk in on me cutting someday. That would be the second worst thing that could happen. The worst would be her finding my livejournal. That's why I have to be careful, because if my dad finds anything bad, he'll tell my mom, and it'll all be over. I am proud to anounce that I talked my mom into letting me switch counselors. I couldn't stand my old one. She was annoying, she wrote down everything I said, and she told my mom everything. Just an update, so people know what's going on with me.
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    okay okay
tank smoke

(no subject)

1350+ members. Self Injury/Suicide support community. Anyone can join.
If you SI, used to, think about it, know someone who does, etc; feel free to join.
It isn't pro or anti SI, it for support, and support you *will* get there or could give.

It's like a big family more than anything, with new people coming
everyday & sometimes people feeling recovered enough to leave.

It is a safe place to go and let things out, ask for help/advice
or anything of that sort; and it will continue to be safe too.

Remember to read the rules if you join, they're easy to follow but very important. :)
  • tyger66

New Here

Hi. My name is Diana. I have been cutting for about a year now. I used to say 'I'm not a cutter' because I didn't actually cut with razors, just needles. I can't even use that excuse anymore, as over the last week I pulled apart a disposable razor and just about destroyed my ankles. I have a counselor that I see every week, and while she's nice, I don't feel like I can tell her anything. My mom noticed that I cut myself once, and hasn't left me alone about it since, so I never cut on my arms anymore. My dad doesn't care. Just thought I'd give you a little background...

(no subject)

I wait for that cold and dark feeling to take me away
as i lay in the tub full of water thats getting deeper red by the moment
i wait to take my last breath as i leave this horride life
tears string down my face as i see my beautiful wrists split open
and draining the very same blood that keeps me breathing
i think of the goodbye letters i wrote
that lay apon my bed waiting to be discovered
in these letters i say goodbye and im sorry for what i did
i ask you to forgive me and i tell you how much i love u
my reason for doing this is complicated yet simple
i live in a world were im surrounded by people yet im lonely inside with sadness
i hope that you forgive me and pray for my soul

(no subject)

im new to the community, i just found it bout half hour ago and i posted up some poems ive written, ive been cutting for about almost 4 yrs now ima a junior and life gets hard sometimes and writting doesnt always help but bleeding and pain does. can u relate?

(no subject)

The one you love can hurt you the most
Break your heart and make you shed tears
My heart and arms bleed for you
When you watch yourself split your veins open and see the blood that runs threw them you known its coming to an end
The room starts getting dark and your vision gets blury
And before you close your eyes one last time, you look down at your wrists and remember why you did this
You did this for love, love that will never be yours again
That same love that made life worth living for is gone and tears drip down your sad face as you think of the day you said goodbye to the one you love, you take one last breath and open your eyes to find yourself lying in bed knowing what love can drive you to do.

The less people you love or let love you,
the less chance there is of being hurt.