lost_love_lost (lost_love_lost) wrote in cut_yourself,

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Will it ever end???

How many tears must I cry,
for the darkness to pass bye.
Will I ever wake from this,
pain filled state.
Is it my own tell tail fate,
that alone I should wait.

Now I hold my tears inside,
afraid to even cry.
Lost in all the lies,
blinding myself from my own eyes.

I let the tears roll down my cheeks
forming puddles at my feet.
I pull the blade across my wrist,
as I watched the blood pour into my fist.

My death will set me free,
no longer any mystery.
The tears will stop,
when I no longer drop.

Finally it is my time to say goodbye,
for no one is left to wonder why.
Before I close my eyes,
I look to the skies.
And sing my finally lullabies….

I feel so alone in this world, no matter how tight anyone holds me I can’t stop falling. I’ve cried myself to sleep every night since I was nine, and finally after all the pain and all the hate, I stopped crying. I feel as if I’ll never cry again, like its bottling up inside of me. I don’t know how to explain it but I want to cry I cannot die while I have people that care for me, but at least before I could cry. I hated crying myself to sleep, but now I’ve forgotten what its like to sleep. What do I do, how can I make it through? Dose any one no what its like to be living your life for someone else? To wake up every morning wishing I’d die and then fall asleep every night afraid that in the morning I’ll wake. The only reason I’m still alive is because I no what it feels like to loss someone you love and even though there is only one person that loves me, I can not put them through that pain… that pain I no so well. I don’t know, im so confused. I don’t want to live this life I can’t deal with this pain anymore. HELP!!!
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